King DeDeDe's Penguin Poop II

The Kirby's Rainbow Resort message boards are still broken, which means the original translation is still lost. But I've decided to translate this fic again anyway, because the KRR translation added 2 scenes that were not in the original and removed all the swear words. This translation will be more faithful to the source material.

Here's more of King DeDeDe's business adventures. This time he's joined by Pingu, who's apparently his younger cousin! I had so much fun writing the first fanfic, that I wrote a part two. Who wouldn't want to know how DeDeDe's poop sales are going? I certainly did, because it took me less than a week to write this thing. I 100 percent guarantee that all the fights will be sexy, epic and everything. So what are you waiting for?

Trigger warning: swearing, poop, selling poop

One day, King DeDeDe was reading a newspaper in his garden. The newspaper mentioned Pingu. Pingu is King DeDeDe's younger cousin. And once DeDeDe noticed he's homeless and needs money, he immidietaly wanted to help.

He flew to the North Pole and met up with Pingu. Pingu hasn't seen his cousin in a long time, so his presence made him very happy. King DeDeDe told Pingu about his shit factory. Pingu was very proud of him.

Meta Knight was also visiting the North Pole. He went on a date with a Yeti. He also bought a North Pole exclusive Yaoi about Santa Claus and The Grinch. Yeti noticed King DeDeDe. He asked about who he is. Meta Knight told him the whole story. Yeti started to like DeDeDe. He said that he's super sexy. Meta Knight didn't really like the King that much, but accepted his interest in penguin shit.

King DeDeDe heard that. That made him very happy, but once he found out that the Yeti was dating Meta Knight, he shat himself out of anger. His shit was GIGANTIC, and because they were on the North Pole, the shit froze! The Yeti ate that shit and he liked how it tasted. He started buying shit from King DeDeDe and freezing it. Meta Knight didn't want to date that Yeti anymore.

Thanks to Pingu, King DeDeDe made 30% more money! They changed the company name to ''King DeDeDe & Pingu's Penguin Poop''.

King DeDeDe went on a walk in the forest with Pingu. They went fishing, gathered blackberries, and even tamed a fox! It was getting dark. The wind was becoming stronger. They already wanted to go back to the castle, but they saw big rocks that blocked their path! They tried going the other way, but that one was blocked too! They looked up. It turned out that Meta Knight blocked all the paths! It started to rain and there was a storm in the sky. King DeDeDe and Pingu didn't know what to do at all. Meta Knight was flying straight towards them and wanted to attack. He was flying VERY FAST. They were DEFENSELESS. Hell was right in front of their eyes.

But it turned out to be a dream. Thank goodness!

Once they woke up, Pingu told the King about his sister Pinga. When they were little, they did everything together. But one day Pinga moved to Dreamland. The King's castle happened to be in Dreamland, so they asked the Waddle Dees if they saw her. One of them pointed towards the forest.

After that dream, King DeDeDe was TERRIFIED and didn't want to go to the forest. But Pingu never went to the forest and could get lost. DeDeDe was dumb and couldn't come up with anything. In order to save everyone's time, Pingu got an idea. He wanted to send the Waddle Dees to the forest! After 5 minutes of convincing, King DeDeDe listened and sent them to find Pinga.

It took them the whole week, but they finally found her. They returned to the castle with Pinga and one other creature. It was a white hamster with brown spots. That was Rick!

Pingu's eyes opened wide. He wasn't expecting his younger sister to have a boyfriend already! Pinga told Pingu the whole story of how she met Rick. They met in the forest when Pinga got lost. Suddenly she noticed King DeDeDe. She was so happy!! She asked the King about an autograph from Meta Knight. She said that she's a big fan.

King DeDeDe got so mad at her, that he yelled at her for 15 minutes straight about his hatred for Meta Knight and how any creature that likes him should never set foot in his castle. He got so angry, that he took a golden shit with a rainbow sheen. A shit like that is worth SO MUCH. He made an auction for it on E-Bay straight away. Once he was done, DeDeDe added that she should leave the castle IMMIDIETALY. Pinga fleed back to the forest, crying loudly. Rick ran after her.

That evening, Pingu found Pinga's new home. It was a small burrow. Pinga was inside. She was lamenting in front of Rick. Suddenly Pingu went inside the burrow. He explained that King DeDeDe is his older cousin who's pretty dumb. He also told them the whole story about the King's factory. Everything was clear to them. And Pinga told Pingu that she's going to marry Rick and needs help with the wedding. They started meeting every evening.

The next morning, King DeDeDe's E-Bay auction ended and he made 50 MILLION DOLLARS! He set out to fly to Mars for vacation.

Meta Knight was also on Mars. He was dating Dame tu Cosita on the shore of Martian Beach. They had a discussion about the differences between Dreamland and Mars, and how those differences will never set them apart. They also were burying their feet in the sand and pretended to bathe since there's no water on Mars.

Meta Knight took off his M-WORD? and almost kissed Dame tu Cosita, but something interrupted that...

...King DeDeDe and Pingu were getting closer and closer. They quickly layed down on the sunbeds and pretended that they never tried to kiss.

The King got angry upon seeing Meta Knight and yelled at him about how he ruins his every vacation. But Meta Knight responded calmly, that it's just a coincidence and isn't his fault at all. The King was stupid, took out his hammer and another fight broke out between these two. The fight was once again sexy and epic and everything. EVEN MORE that ever. Pingu and half of the aliens on Mars rooted for the King, while the other half of the aliens, inlcuding Dame tu Cosita, were rooting for Meta Knight. The fight ended with a draw.

After the fight, a sexy, tall alien walked up to them. He wore sexy little socks, a green royal robe and a gay tiara. His eyes were big, blue and beautiful, the hair was long and blonde. It was King Edfrayas Maolus IV.

King DeDeDe was one of his biggest fans. But the martian king paid more attention on Meta Knight. He complimented his skills and invited him to his party as a special guest. He also gifted him a gay tiara as a souvenir. It was golden with a burgundy stone, just like his sword.

King DeDeDe and Pingu on the other hand got kicked out back to Dreamland for ruining the peace on Mars.

The King was SO ANGRY. He was plotting revenge. Pingu wanted to calm down DeDeDe but it only made him more mad.

Meta Knight was having lots of fun on Mars though. He met his fans and answered their weirdest questions. He even danced with the martian king's daughter - Princess Asneika. She was gorgeous - she had long, light pink hair tied in a ponytail, big green eyes and huge boobs. Her mint green dress was beautiful as well.

The next day King DeDeDe, Pingu and the Waddle Dees worked faster than ever. They wanted to get some press coverage and make an animated advertisement with professional animators. And they needed lots of money to do that.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the castle doors. Pingu opened the door.

Outside the gate stood a huge Raichu. It wore a black tie. It said that it came here to get permission to start producing shit in a factory just like the King. Pingu told it that he isn't sure if the King would be up for that, but he could try.

When the King got asked, he got so furious, that he shat straight at the Raichu businessman's face. The Raichu also got angry and tried to shock the King, but instead shocked Pingu. Pingu kicked it lightly and made a loud ''NOOT NOOOOOT!!!''. The mad Raichu fled the castle.

End of Part 2 - to be continued in ''King DeDeDe's Penguin Poop III - Crazy Frog and Raichu''