King DeDeDe's Penguin Poop III

The Kirby's Rainbow Resort message boards are still broken, which means the original translation is still lost. But I've decided to translate this fic again anyway, because the KRR translation added 2 scenes that were not in the original and removed all the swear words. This translation will be more faithful to the source material.

The world of DeDeDe and his poop just went upside down! Ever since Crazy Frog and Raichu founded their new business, our beloved little penguin isn't in the best of moods... Will he discover their secret?

Trigger warning: swearing, poop, selling poop

The next day, King DeDeDe was sitting in his garden again, this time grilling some sausages. He was reading the newspaper and saw an article that caught his eye. It was about the success of a new shit-selling company - Crazy Frog & Raichu!

They specialize in frog and Raichu shit. They just started, but they're already making over 600 million dollars!

This of course made our beloved penguin king very mad. He's been selling penguin shit for years, but only makes around 45 million... He had to do something about it!

So he forced the Waddle Dees and Pingu to shit two times faster. Pingu didn't want to and rebelled against the idea. But King DeDeDe took out his hammer and that scared Pingu, so he went back to work.

Unfortunately, that worsened the quality of the shit! Since Waddle Dees don't naturally make penguin shit, their poop wasn't penguin shit anymore! But Pingu was a penguin, so he still took penguin shits. It was still bad quality though...

Meta Knight on the other hand already went on dates with Shrek, Squidward, Doctor Doofenshmitz, Waluigi, and everyone else on his dating wishlist. Now he wanted to date the Ender Dragon.

He always wanted to go on a date with her. But the Ender Dragon is hostile and he doesn't know how to tame it. He could kill it and hatch the egg, but to make the egg hatch and grow, he would have to wait around 100 years. He could also ask Purple Shep?, the dragon's son, if he could get permission to go on a date, but Purple Shep does not know what a date is. And even if he knew, he still wouldn't be able to say exactly what Meta Knight wants.

After 5 minutes of thinking, he finally came up with a good idea. He's gonna make a stew for the dragon with Chorus Fruit and a Creeper Heart! So he flew to the End and collected some chorus fruit. On the way home, he killed a Creeper to take his heart. (not romantically, he already went on a date with the Creeper King XD)

Once he returned to his tiny apartament in Japan, he asked his anime voice actress friends for some advice, because he didn't have that much cooking experience. They taught him a simple stew recipe, and he got to work.

After making the stew, he asked Steve on FaceTime if he made the stew correctly. Steve was in SHOCK. In his opinion, the stew was PERFECT! He also added that the Ender Dragon will definitely really like it.

After hearing Steve's opinion, Meta Knight flew back to the End, to give the stew to the dragon.

The Ender Dragon thought for a second that he was going to fight her, but after noticing the stew she wanted to try it straight away.

Meta Knight gave her the whole bowl. The Ender Dragon FELL IN LOVE WITH IT! So she agreed to date him.

When Meta Knight and the Ender Dragon were dating, King DeDeDe was PANICKING! He didn't know how to make more money. He watched business coursed on SkillShare, but he didn't understand anything and it only bored him. He tried to ask Pingu, but Pingu didn't know anything about business either.

The King had a dumb idea to spend his money at a casino and buy even more expensive toilets that induced EVEN WORSE poop! So he went to the casino, but it didn't work... He spent it all, and got nothing in return! Remember kids, don't gamble!

On his way back home, he was very sad and angry. He wanted to burn that Raichu alive! But once he was back at the castle, he was making 150 MILLION DOLLARS!!!

That's because Pingu watched the same SkillShare course about business the King did and used professional business strategies! But King DeDeDe was to dumb to ask Pingu about it and thought it was simply luck.

So he flew to the Baltic Sea's shore in Poland for vacation! He also took Pingu.

He layed down in the sun, and Pingu was putting sunscreen on his back. The sun was shining preciously. Everyone on the beach was having fun. Some went swimming, others tanned like the King, one family was splashing each other with water, the kids built sandcastles, and Meta Knight was on a date with a mermaid!

Her name was Lamy. She wore pretty pink hair and was Dame tu Cosita's granddaughter. She was also taking care of a seal named Fartislav.

Meta Knight made her a necklace out of seashells. She really liked it, so she gave him photos of the Coral Kingdom anda lesbian tiara in return. King DeDeDe went on a brief walk farther into the beach. During the walk, he noticed them and got VERY MAD! So he went up to them and wanted to fight with Meta Knight again!

The fight was sexy and epic and everything just like always. But DeDeDe won this time!

Meta Knight congratulated him. So the King apologized to him for getting mad all those years ago. So he asked if they could live in the castle together again. And Meta Knight said yes!

Once they went back to Pingu together, Meta Knight was curious who he was. Pingu introduced himself. They got along very well!

They finally went back to their castle in Dreamland. The castle wasn't just a bunch of ruins anymore. It was a penguin shit factory!

Meta Knight really admired the King for running his own business. Unfortunately, he didn't have a room in the castle anymore. But King DeDeDe immidietaly ordered his Waddle Dees to build a new one!

In the evening our beloved penguin king sat at the table with Pingu and Meta Knight. The three of them had a conversation together for the very first time!

After the conversation Pingu visited Rick and Pinga's burrow. He helped them prepare for the wedding.

3 days later, Meta Knight flew over the clouds. Suddenly he saw a horrificly tall mountain. He never saw a mountain that tall, so he flew to see what that mountain is.

The mountain had Ferdynant Kiepski? 's face. It started talking about beer and encouraged Meta Knight to become an alcoholic. But Meta Knight told it that's he's already addicted to dating. As soon as he sees someone, he wants to date them. He also added that he wants to quit.

The mountain was so shocked that it's mouth opened really wide. Meta Knight saw a cave inside. He flew inside the mountain's mouth.

In the cave he encountered the Ice Queen. She had pretty white hair. A blue dragon stood next to her. Her face has getting closer and closer to Meta Knight. He was defenseless. He couldn't move. She took of his M-WORD and kissed him.

Meta Knight woke up. He was kissing Pingu.

Crazy Frog and Raichu were watching from the window. They took a photo of them and sent it to the editorial office of a magazine King DeDeDe liked to read - ''Trash''.

That morning King DeDeDe was sitting in the garden and was reading that magazine. He saw an article titled: ''Meta Knight is GAY?! Pingu is his boyfriend!'' The King was very surprised.

Pingu was watering the flowers in the royal garden. Meta Knight was helping him. Some kid yelled at them: ''Hah, GAAAAAAAAAY!''

Meta Knight calmly replied that he's bisexual, and not gay. That kid showed him the page that the picture was on. He read the whole article. At the very bottom it wrote: ''Sent by Zbigniew Raichu, written by The Editorial Office''

This really ashamed Meta Knight. He wanted to find that Raichu. He asked many different people, but they were all laughing at him. Suddenly he went up to King DeDeDe. He wanted to tell him about everything, but the King was laughing at him too.

The next week he got sick of being called gay, so he told everything to Pingu. Pingu knew the password to the King's computer, so he looked up Zbigniew Raichu's name on the internet. He was the boss of Crazy Frog & Raichu!

Pingu wanted to tell Meta Knight, but he couldn't find him anywhere. He was right under his beak! Meta Knight just put on different clothes. He wore a lilac hoodie, a matching lilac cap and headphones colored like his sword. He also painted his feet gold.

Meta Knight already dressed exactly like this once in the past, but this time he put on some sunglasses as well, because you could see his face in the picture. No one recognized him.

Pingu asked Meta Knight where he is. He whispered to Pingu that he IS him, but he's wearing a disguise so no one would recognize him and and from now on he should call him DJ MK.

Meta Knight - now DJ MK - told Pingu that Meta Knight is on vacation, but he can still tell Pingu's message to him. Crazy Frog and Raichu giggled from behind the window. ''We embarrassed Mety!'' - said Crazy Frog, and Raichu responded with a loud laugh!

The next day, Pingu and DJ MK searched Google for any contact information Zbigniew Raichu's company had. Unfortunately, they only found a page where you could send an employment message?...

They kept looking, but King DeDeDe entered the room. At first he was about to get mad at Pingu for using his computer without permission, but his attention was directed towards DJ MK. He asked him who he was.

Pingu told the King that DJ MK is his new friend and Meta Knight is currently on vacation. Because of that article, mere thoughts about Meta Knight made King DeDeDe laugh. They showed him what they were looking for. King DeDeDe said that he wants to discover their money-making methods or even buy their company. DJ MK had a great idea - to dress up with the King as a frog and a Raichu respectively, start working at their company, go in the vents on breakfast break and then discover their secret! King DeDeDe thought it was a great idea!

That evening, Pingu and DJ MK went inside Rick and Pinga's burrow for a podwieczorek?. Pingu explained to them that DJ MK is Meta Knight, but dressed in different clothes to not get recognized. He also added that it's because of a false ''Trash'' article. This made Pinga REALLY happy!! She asked him for an autograph straight away. DJ MK signed using the same signature that he uses as Meta Knight on her framed photo. They ate their meal together and continued to talk. Rick told DJ MK he's going to marry Pinga soon, and they need someone to throw the bouquet of flowers. DJ MK responded with owerwhelming agreement! Pinga also alsked if someone could be the pope?. DJ MK told her that he'll ask Kirby.

Meanwhile, one of DeDeDe's Waddle Dees took a SENTIENT SHIT! He quickly took the King to see his little shitling. The King was VERY surprised. The shit looked like a poop emoji. King DeDeDe decided to keep his new pet and named it SHET!

The next day, King DeDeDe painted himself to look like a Raichu, put on a Raichu ear headband and a Raichu tail, and Meta Knight disguised himself as a frog. They called their new identities ''King RaiRaiRai'' and ''DJ Frog''! Next they went to work at their new ''job'' to discover how Crazy Frog and that Raichu make so much money. Pingu took care of SHET.

Once both of them arrived at their destination, they introduced themselves. It turns out that Zbigniew Raichu is the same Raichu who tried to ask the King for permission to start this business! Crazy Frog & Raichu was his form of revenge! It made the King even more angry, but he really wanted to discover Zbigniew's strategy, so he didn't break out of character.

When they begun officialy working here, they were treated very nicely. The King almost wanted to play the role of King RaiRaiRai his entire life and give the company to Pingu! He whispered that to Meta Knight, but he stopped him. He also added that they're being treated so nicely, that they have to be hiding something.

When their group had lunch, they used a screwdriver to unscrew the vent cover. King DeDeDe was too big to fit through, but Meta Knight got through just fine. He took a camera with him, because he foresaw that this kind of situation could happen. Once he saw what the other group was doing he was terrified! Crazy Frog brought poor Pikachus from the wild and evolved them! Meta Knight started recording - King DeDeDe has to see this! When all the Pikachus finished evolving, Crazy Frog started to hit them with a whip! They shat like crazy, but their shit was perfect! Crazy Frog occasionally went up to a corkboard with a list of things where it wrote:

''BETTER THAN PENGUIN POOP''?! He had to tell this to the King!

When Meta Knight left the vents, the green paint rubbed off! And King DeDeDe bursted into such laughter, that his tail and headband fell off! The cameras noticed them. Zbigniew Raichu was already chasing them. They quickly escaped the factory building!

Meta Knight showed that recording to the King. King DeDeDe wasn't laughing at him anymore. On their way back, a whole herd of kids walked behind them and laughed at Meta Knight.

Once they were back at the castle, Pingu told them that SHET has magical properties that improve the quality of their shit! This made King DeDeDe very happy! He remembered which Waddle Dee made SHET, so he threw a feast in his honor, gave him a golden medal and laid him off!

The next morning they sent that terriffying recording to the Police. The policemen were immidietaly on their way to arrest them.

Meanwhile, Pingu, Rick, Kirby, Pinga and Meta Knight did their final wedding rehearsal. Kirby was the pope, Rick and Pinga were the couple, Meta Knight threw the bouquet of flowers, and Pingu organized the whole wedding. Pinga specializes in calligraphy, so she made the invitations as well. Once the invitations were finished, Pingu and Meta Knight sent them. First they sent them to King DeDeDe, SHET and the Waddle Dees, and then to everyone else.

After sending the invitations, Pingu gave SHET all kinds of different things to eat. It was terribly hungry and he didn't know what levitating poops with faces eat. Suddenly he gave it the natural shit of the Waddle Dee who shat him out in the first place. SHET liked the shit so much, that it licked Pingu all over his body!

The next week, Pinga and Rick were about to marry. Pingu and Pinga's parents, Wario and Waluigi, Doctor Doofenshmitz, Shrek with Fiona and Donkey, Squidward, Steve and Alex from Minecraft, Robbie Rotten, King Julien with Mort and Morris, The Ice King from Adventure Time, King Edfrayas Maolus IV with his daughter Princess Asneika, Bandana Dee, Lamy the Mermaid carried in a fish tank with her seal Fartislav by Prince Lamebert (her boyfriend), Mario and Luigi, Grzegorz Turnau with Maryna Barfuss?, Kagamine Rin and Len, Hatsune Miku, Megpoid GUMI, Meta Knight's old friends from Japan, Dame tu Cosita and lots of other people arrived! And of course, King DeDeDe with his Waddle Dees and SHET.

Kirby pointed at Rick, making a happy sound. Rick said yes! Then Kirby pointed at Pinga. She also said yes! And finally, Kirby happily waved his hands, Rick kissed Pinga, and Meta Knight flew up, took a picture and threw the bouquet high in the air. It landed in the hands of... DEMON KIRBY?!

Demon Kirby burned the bouquet of roses, threw it on the ground and started a FIRE!!! And behind him arrived hundreds of thousands of rats with their King!

Now everyone was fighting Demon Kirby and his army! Wario and Waluigi threw bombs, Prince Lamebert took out his magical nose-picking stick and used it as a weapon, Steve took out an OBSIDIAN SWORD, and Alex showed off her GOD AXE, Robbie Rotten threw banana peels to help others by making the rats slip, Mario and Luigi used their Fireflowers and Starmen, Squidward used his clarinet to make the rats fall asleep, the Ice King froze the rats, King Edfrayas Maolus IV used his martian powers, and Dame tu Cosita hypnotized the rats with his dances! The other guests helped in some ways as well! Meta Knight was up against the mighty Rat King, and King DeDeDe and Kirby fought Demon Kirby! Every battle was SUPER SEXY AND EPIC!!! Wario and Waluigi lost and landed in a dumpster, but they defeated some of the rats with the help of Robbie Rotten. Prince Lamebert killed the most rats, but he did it in the most lame way. Steve and Alex have beaten up a lot of rats and were very helpful. Mario and Luigi got rid of a lot of rats as well! King Edfrayas Maolus IV joined by Dame tu Cosita were also a great team! But King DeDeDe, Kirby and Meta Knight were still fighting. They never faced such tough opponents! The guests of the wedding didn't defeat all the rats - there were still around a thousand of them left - so the remaining rats kept pouncing at them and making the fight even harder! None of them had any strenght left. They were about to lose. But SHET threw up with poisonous vomit, killed the rest of the rats and stopped the Rat King and Demon Kirby so King DeDeDe, Kirby and Meta Knight could rest! Once they were done resting, DEMON KRTEK? suddenly showed up!!! Now they had to fight three enemies at once! Fortunately the Rat King lost most of his power, so the battle was easier. This time they kept switching their targets. They barely survived, but Demon Krtek went back to hell, the Rat King turned into a regular rat, and Demon Kirby got killed once and for all! Demon Krtek cannot exist without Demon Kirby, so Demon Krtek started to shrink and shrink, telling Satan about the bad news, until he got so small that he disappeared.

The Rat King jumped on Waluigi's head. Because he isn't evil anymore, he became his pet! Waluigi named him Sir Wah!

***

5 years later...

King DeDeDe has sold his penguin shit factory, but he still sells his shit in limited quantities from time to time! SHET grew into a shit dragon and the King sometimes flies on him to go on vacation for example. DeDeDe even races in the air on SHET's back with Meta Knight! Pingu uses SHET to improve the quality of limited edition shit! Pinga and Rick have penguin-hamster hybrid children! Their names are Raphael and Pingscilla. They're twins! Crazy Frog and Raichu are still in jail. They deserve it, they were horrible...

THE END